Okay, I guess Shane got kicked out of New Jersey or whatever, but he’s back now and so am I. I’ve been in the real world for two weeks now, with no blog shield to protect me, and let me tell you: Shit is terrifying. 

Normally I wake up in the morning, completely skip breakfast, and by the time lunch rolls around I’m feeling like “I could eat.” Now that the first thing I do every morning is drink a box of protein in the shower, like a man, I can’t even make it to 10am without thinking really hard about gnawing on my monitor. I get hungry. As I type this I’m actually looking into how much food a horse really is. I’m also slightly dizzy.

Portland was a total diet failure. This was less attributed to not being on the Diary wagon, and more that I was hanging out and eating with people I don’t normally see. regardless my weight today is: Fat, fat fat fat.

Because of the new breakfast regime, my weight has been doing goofy shit recently. I tricked my scale with the oldest trick in the book, swapping places on the batteries. My weight bounced up and down daily. 260, 264, 261, 265, 260. And then my scale died again, and now I gotta figure out where in Seattle I can get away with a giving an appliance a viking burial.